Having a relationship with someone you love is awesome. However, the big issue is when conflicts emerge, when you want to be heard, when you want to state what you do not like or even when you do not seem to be on the same page regarding a certain topic. Most people would tense on how they are going to solve any disagreements without causing a fight, especially when you are so pissed of something you were done to. Not many people often resought to the non-violence way, but most aspire to solve their issues in harmony.
Below are some of the ways you can use to prevent the possibility of a fight;
1. Wait until you are calm
Most people love to deal with their issues head on, when the situation is still fresh. However, I do not think this is the best way to go. It will be much better when you ask or rather handle a situation with your partner when you are both calm. As a result you will be able to make sound judgments and decisions. You will even know what to say without hurting your partner or getting hurt yourself. And mostly the questions you ask when you are calm are mostly satisfactory and call for genuine answers. As a result, you will have evaded the possibility of a fight occurring.
2. Just talk, do not shout
In any relationship, one has to better. Be that one, and if you know your partner not to be the one with the ability to neutralize the situation, then be the one to do it. Shouting when having an argument prompts the other person to also shout. However, when you just decide to communicate without involving a lot of shouting then the other will also have no reason to shout. The more the shouting, the more the conflict hits peak, thus the fight escalates.
3. Be wise on what comes out of your mouth
Words once spoken can never be taken back, that is why it is essential to think before you speak. If you talk to your partner in a more calm, justified and sound manner, they will be more attentive to you than when you just talk because you are angry. Whenever, there are conflicts, people tend to use hurtful words to avenge what has been done to them, aside from making you feel embarrassed later, you will have hurt someone to the core or even lost their trust completely. Another horrible thing that happens when you do not choose your words wisely is the tendency for the argument to climb a notch higher if one does not walk away. So, learn to handle any conflict in harmony by watching your words.
4. Do it with respect, empathy but not compromise
Most people in any relationship love to be treated with respect, that is for those who have earned it. Being able to treat someone with respect after a misunderstanding, gives them the assurance that they are loved and valued. Understand them in any way possible and talk the issue out, however, just because you do all the above does not mean that you overlook the mistakes they did. Make it known that which you do not condone, and they will also understand just like you did them.
5. Explain where they are wrong comprehensively
Everything is much better when everyone is free with another, hitting the nail on the head is the way here. Not being able to explain to one another where each one is wrong piles up stress and hurt because the same mistakes will get repeated. Once everyone is fed up with the situation, everything will explode. This will be a much worse scenario, everyone will be throwing their grenades here and there. However, when you have the opportunity to deal with the situation in a mature and fast manner, nothing gets to escalate.
6. When solving any situation do not make your partner feel humiliated
Any humiliation usually calls for a defense. The comeback is much more hurtful. With all these tit for tat, a fight is bound to happen. It is much better to settle a situation without having to make somebody else feel embarrassed. Whatever the disagreement is, there is no need to make someone else feel ashamed, being able to handle a situation without a fight is a key to reaching a mutual agreement and avoiding chaos in any relationship.
There is no relationship that has got no issues. Disagreements arise even from the pettiest situations, which when you are not careful enough on how to handle them, things might get hectic. Every situation often needs a calculated approach to work it out well. The above pointers might help you deescalate an escalating scene in your relationship.
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Recommended books for conflict resolution:
Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships (Nonviolent Communication Guides)
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