Relationships are a very delicate subject to each individual. Relationships range from family, friendship and love. Whatever the relationship that you have, there has to be a bond and when this bond is broken, one of the parties has to be the victim. And, when you are the victim you become the most affected negatively. Each relationship has got qualities and there are those values that are most shared in these unions. Relationships usually differ, there are those that are good and others bad. Bad relationships on most occasions depict a negative vibe to the individuals involved. There are so many forms bad relationship, but today we are going to delve into the characteristics that show that you are in an emotionally abusive relationship. These type of relationship does not entail any physical force like fighting but usually affects the psychology of an individual. If not ended immediately it can lead to depression, low self esteem, desperation and stress.
1.The play victim all the time; Have you ever been in a relationship where every mess in the relationship is blamed on you. Even when your conscience is clear that you are not responsible. The other party always justifies themselves and make you look bad in everything to the point that you end up apologizing for something you did not do just because you love them. Well, this union is unhealthy, because a good relationship is not about blame, it is about talking things out and solving the issues together and not making the other person look bad.
2.There is no breathing space; In your current relationship, do you feel suffocated? You never go out without your partner, you do everything together and many more. I am not insinuating that this is bad, but when exaggerated it becomes a red flag for overly protective partners. As one of the pointers for a good relationship, trust was one of the main points. For a very protective partner, it shows that they have little to no trust for you. Or how else would you describe an individual who does not give you a chance to see your friends. As a matter of fact, your whole life does not revolve around their love only, you have friends and family too. Without trust there is no love thus no relationship.
3.Their jealousy is a notch higher; Being jealous in relationships is common but usually not in a bad way because you wanna tell the world about your affair. However, excessive jealousy can be tragic. If your partner commands that you contact them every time regarding your whereabouts, who you with, what you ate, why you are laughing and even why you texted some of your friends? Then take the hints, because this individual wants to control you. Fairness in relationship is key, never aspire to have power over your partner, listen to their needs, opinions and discuss about them.
4. There is no respect for boundaries; As your partner, you might have told them some hidden secrets about you that you would not want anyone else knowing, but whenever you go out with friends or he has his friends over, he/she brings up the ‘do not tell anybody topic’. You could laugh and all but feel betrayed because they have overstepped the boundaries. If you have such a partner, it could mean that they have no respects for nor do they care about your feelings.
5.Their statements imply that you are not good enough; A good partner should always accept you for who you are and be contented with that. However, some people criticize and compare you with others. For example if your partner tells you that this food is not as sweet as the one you ate at your friend’s place!, A good partner would find a much more polite way to pass a message not by making comparisons here and there. Ensure that you never settle for that, because if you start believing this, it could drastically lower your self esteem.
6.They are unsupportive of your aspirations; As expected your partner should always back you up when it comes to your dreams. However, you would tell others of your dreams and they would just shrug their shoulders or even have the audacity of asking you whether you will make it. These type of people depict a high level of selfishness, they try and alter your aspirations for their own good.
7.They measure their affection for you; Love is love and there should not be a time where your partner loves you more and a time when they love you less. In any good relationship, the love should be ascending not zigzagging. If you always sense a form of blackmail for love then you are not in the right relationship. If you have to do something for your partner as a form of satisfying their selfish claims so that you can be loved then that is not genuine love. You better be on your heels for the sake of your life.
8. Instill self doubt; When they say something hurtful to you and you want to confront them, they deny the whole act. They make you look like a fool and blame you for coming up with non existent statements. They make you doubt yourself by trying to over their filthy tracks. Watch out for these before all your emotions gets crashed.
9. They cheat often; Some of these people often are great cheaters and try to hide their cheating by acting overly caring and overly protective to you so that you would not suspect anything thinking that they want you by them all the time. This cheating could be done emotionally or physically. Check; How to know your partner is cheating on you.
10.They are poor at consulting you; since their main aim is to control you, they never ask for your opinion even regarding things that affect the both of you. They do not consider your thoughts as important, thus they make decisions through their own judgement only.